squirrelpie.us Blog

The doctor said, ''Bill, the good news is I can cure your headaches.
The
bad news is that it will require castration. You have a very rare
condition that causes your testicles to press on your spine & the
pressure creates one hell of a headache. The only way to relieve the
pressure is to remove the testicles.''

Bill was shocked & depressed. He wondered if he had anything to live
for. He had no choice but to go under the knife. When he left the
hospital, he was without a headache for the first time in 20 years, but
he felt like he was missing an important part of himself. As he walked
down the street,  he realized that he felt like a different person. He
could make a new beginning and live a new life.

He saw a men's clothing store & thought, ''That's what I need, a new
suit.''

He entered the shop & told the salesman, ''I'd like a new suit."

The elderly tailor eyed him briefly and said, ''Let's see, size 44
long."

Bill laughed, ''That's right, how did you know?''

''Been in the business 60 years,'' the tailor said. Bill tried on the
suit. It fit perfectly. As Bill admired himself in the mirror, the
salesman asked, ''How about a new shirt?''

Bill thought for a moment & then said, ''Sure.''

The salesman eyed Bill & said, ''Let's see 34 sleeves & 16-1/2  neck.''

Bill was surprised, ''That's right, how did you know?''

''Been in the business 60 years.''

Bill tried on the shirt & it fit perfectly.

Bill walked comfortably around the shop & the salesman asked, ''How
about some new underwear?''

Bill thought for a moment & said, ''Sure.''

The salesman said, ''Let's see, size 36.''

Bill laughed, ''Aha! I got you. I've worn a size 34 since I was 18
years
old.''

The salesman shook his head. ''You can't wear a size 34. A size 34
would
press your testicles up against the base of your spine & give you one
hell of a headache.''

OK. I just found a site that plays the Heroes re-runs (for this season) The site is free. It has info on all the Hero saga as well as full, widescreen fullscreen players that will play any Hero episode you want (for this season) Its great.

If youre interested, then check out the link Im fixing to add to -my links- Really this is worth checking out. Its been a long time since Ive found a show worth mentioning, so if I seem a radical, thats cause Im just ecstatic that there is a show that both kids and parents can enjoy at the same time.

I’ll get busy trying to add the link… so be patient.

Oh yea what a great show.. Monday nights rock now that its filled with ordinary people with extraordinary powers, just trying to slide through life as best they can. Perhaps they try to fit in a little too much. Perhaps they must. Who knows? Personally, if someone wanted to slice my brain off and eat it (in order to absorb my weirdo power) I think I would draw as little attention as possible to myself.

Yes I watch this show…. Its great. What a great show. Ive gotten my nephew hooked on the show as well. We talk about it. We try to figure out what will happen. We can only cast theories. Heroes seems to be written by a fine group of professionals. They keep us guessing and although we always have fine ideas as to what will happen next, we never seem to be right. Frankly, there’s just too much going on. Really there is only one thing going on, bunch of powered up heroes getting murdered, but they follow everyone as the story is un-folding.

So if you havent watched it before… if you wonder what it would be like to have a super power and try to live a normal life, while all the time avoiding certain death that is you brain being eaten. You should tune in to Heroes. The group of writer they have are really good this time. They have an ability (and imagination enough) to make someone with a bland super power use it to utmost effect. The show is filled with twists. Uncertainties. Speculations. Maybe it will be the last episode untill the truth is known about what is going on.

If you want on board the ride, better get on now. There is just so much going on instead of the main story. Catch it while its hot. Trust me, you won’t be dissappointed.

Have you ever heard the phrase “Seeing is believing”? Of course you have. When someone is pulling your leg, and you know what they are up to, demanding the simple proof of sight will usually get them to go away. If they can’t show you -sight proof- then obviously they are full of kah-kah…..

Sometimes, however, a story is wound, a web is strung and there just happens to be a proverbial fly that lands right in the trap. When someone calls bullshit, and suddenly, by some freak of nature, proof of sight presents itself. This is always fun. Its happened to me many times. It has completely convinced me that God has a sense of humor.

For Instance-

Once I was sitting out in the woods minding my own business. Oh yea I was drinking a delightfull beer and enjoying a piece of alone time. Well the ten year old neighbor kid came poking around and asked me what I was doing. He sat down beside me and intruded upon my very limited time alone. I wasnt doing anything. I was just sitting there with a good number of cold beers.

Its hard to explain to a young boy that you are just sitting by yourself and drinkin beer. Young kids have to be doing SOMETHING…… (or else they are eating or sleeping or going to the bathroom)

So I told the little rugrat that I was talking to the birds. He asked- What? I confirmed it. Yup, Im talking to the Mockingbird that sits five trees over.

He said the perfect answer…. “Do you talk to him often?”

“Not really. He’s new in the woods and is asking me where the action is.”

So now that I had a quick reply, the kid is not satisfied with simple explanations He wants something a little more concrete.

“If he’s not from around here then wheres he from?”

I whistled the Mockingbird tune…. you know? In order to ask the bird. Well the bird whisted back. Ahhhhhhhhh, I own a ten year old boy.

I relay several more questions to the bird ( in whistle) and it replies to all of them. Of course my story has gotten deep by now

Though he has sound proof, this hardened little boy still doubts the master. The questions get pretty deep. Intricate little mind boogers from an aspiring little mind. The bird quit answering.

I could only make excuses. The bird won’t give such information to strangers, and it doesnt know the you.

Of course the kid wont let up, and finally Im out of ammo. He finally got me. Asked more questions than I could play. So as the boy sat back triumphantly, I gave one last goodbye whistle to the mockingbird-

Well………

This bird flew down from out of the woods.It landed on the same bench I was sitting on. It looked long and hard at me. Hopped around a little bit. Looked at the boy and took off flying to the heavens.

Proof of sight.

I have owned that kid ever since. He got up and walked on to wherever he was going that day. Never doubted me again. Even the other neighbors eventually heard tell of the “bird talking guy” and it was highly embellished with a ten year olds imagination.

God has a sense of humor.